I usually don’t share this type of content! However, it struck home with me. So, here it is!
Don’t go looking for the man who will buy you flowers and jewelry or surprise you with fancy vacations. Instead, go looking for the one who buys you the hangers.
The other day, I mentioned to my husband that I was feeling overwhelmed with all of my laundry and that I had run out of hangers.
“I’m feeling stressed, and I need to get some hangers at some point this week. I can’t hang any more clothes until I have more,” I said to him quickly.
After that, we both got into the car to head over to a family dinner. As we drove towards my parents’ house, he stopped at the store and said he needed to grab something. I sat in the car with our two young kids in the back asking, “Where’s daddy going?”
“I have no idea, guys. Just hold tight,” I said back, feeling a little annoyed. “Where is he? We have to go. We’re going to be late for dinner,” I thought to myself as I took off my seatbelt to get more comfortable while waiting.
A few moments later, my daughter shouted from the back, “Mommy, that’s a LOT of hangers!”
I looked out the window and saw my husband carrying about 100 hangers.
He popped open the trunk, put them in there, and sat back in the driver’s seat. I just stared at him.
“I didn’t need hangers this instant, but thank you,” I said, feeling a rush of emotions.
“I know, but I could tell you were getting stressed with the growing pile of clothes and thought I could help. Tonight, we’ll do your laundry together and get it all hung up,” he said to me as he squeezed my hand.
It was in that moment I realized I had been searching for his love in all the wrong places!
You see, my husband has never been one to come home with chocolates or flowers often, and it took me many years to appreciate the way he loves me. Growing up as a little girl, I would watch movies and see the big gestures—the surprise vacations, the diamond necklaces, the boombox over the man’s head as he professed his love for the whole street to hear. I was not taught about the subtle love. The quiet love. The “little” love. The forever kind of love.
The kind of love where he sees you needing help and does it without asking. The kind of love where he knows you so well he can go to the store and pick out all of your favorite snacks. The kind of love where he knows your tricky coffee order, even when you forget it. The kind of love where he got up with the baby at two in the morning so you could rest. The kind of love where he has seen you at your absolute worst and chose to keep loving you anyway.
I was never shown that kind of love in movies, books, and TV. I was always taught to look for the big gestures. I was always taught to look for the flowers being brought home. Because you see, my husband has brought me home flowers, but I couldn’t tell you when or how it was done. What I can tell you is each and every day he’s done little things like this to make my life a tiny bit easier. Those flowers he brought died quickly. This type of love lives forever.
Marry the man who doesn’t buy flowers often. Marry the man who doesn’t come home with extravagant presents every day. Marry the man who will let you wait in the restaurant when it’s raining and drive the car up to you so you stay dry. Marry the man who loves you in a quiet way. For that is where the deepest, most pure love can be found. The quiet love.
The type of love where he just wants to make the things in your life, well, a little bit easier. Marry the man who buys the hangers.
In the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, it’s easy to overlook these seemingly small gestures, but they are the foundation of a loving relationship. They are the acts that show he is tuned into your needs and wants to support you in any way he can. They demonstrate a love that is not about grandiosity but about consistency and care.
This quiet love is not always glamorous, and it may not be the kind of love that movies highlight, but it is the love that lasts. It is the love that sees you, understands you, and stands by you through thick and thin. It is the love that makes life a little bit sweeter and a lot more manageable.
So, the next time you feel overwhelmed or stressed, look for the small acts of kindness and love that your partner shows you. These are the moments that truly matter. These are the moments that define a strong and lasting relationship. Embrace the quiet love, appreciate the little things, and cherish the partner who buys the hangers.
